in the orchard of unmentionable

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by loie merritt

11/22/2016

It’s been two weeks since I’ve sat down to write. Everything is just misspelled words knocking against silent sobs in my ribcage. I can’t remember the way I felt before, the safety locked in, like both feet happily grounded in a block of cement, heat conducted and hardened with my own privilege. At the same time, nothing has changed. Day to day, feeding to feeding, broken dish to shitty diaper, my children requiring me to hold my own shit together. But in silence, I hear a clock ticking. And we don’t own a ticking clock. On this rare rainy day, I am thankful that I don’t have to go outside, into the world, the world that is the same except cut open. Do you feel that pain? What does the pain sound like today?Continue Reading

An Early Sexual Education: The Film Roundup

(in which sex and love may be childishly conflated)
by Loie Merritt

Sexual authority means a belted dress and a beast that terrorizes your intellectual hunger until you just want to dance, Beauty and the Beast:
For the rest of your life, snowball fights qualify as foreplay.Continue Reading

Dancing Dirty, or Blurred Lines and Other Balancing Acts

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by Loie Merritt

Dirty Dancing came out the year I was born. It received an unanticipated level of popular acclaim. It seems no one thought the film would do well. After test audiences shuddered at the abortion subplot and rumors of the cast despising each other (naturally calling their quick and engorging passion into question), the film nearly went straight to VHS and into the dusty corner of your local video store forever. Instead, it became a fixture in late 20th century American Romance. Patrick Swayze made modern dance cool, combining ballroom style with the dirty boogie. It won an Oscar. It won a Grammy.Continue Reading

Shudder

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by Loie MerrittContinue Reading